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My Boyfriend Tickles Me

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He's a really brave guy. He actually picks on his mother a lot and annoys the crap out of her.

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I have a bit of a random issue. My body is extremely sensitive, and I am very ticklish.

I HATE being tickled. Nevertheless, my husband continues to think that it is cute to tickle me. He thinks that because I am laughing when he tickles me, that it must be fun and enjoyable. I tell him firmly every single time he does it that I hate being tickled, and I ask him to never do it again. Yet, he always does.

In his book Sibling Abuse, Vernon Wiehe published his research findings regarding adults who were abused by their siblings during childhood. Several reported tickling as a type of physical abuse they experienced… abusive tickling is capable of provoking extreme physiological reactions in the victim, such as vomiting, incontinence losing control of bladderand losing consciousness due to inability to breathe. It is not a matter of choice for you: you cannot choose to not react distressfully to being tickled.

On the other hand, it is a matter of choice for your husband: to tickle OR to not tickle you. Ask and insist that your husband read the extensive literature on tickling torture and abuse. If he refuses to do so, or if he re it and continues to tickle you, ONE more time, just once- you got a real problem in your marriage. This is not! I am sorry, Charlie. This is not a minor problem.

If he understands and continues, he is being aggressive, abusive. Thank you for your input, Anita! Like you, I believe that tickling can be abusive. I just feel like it is very out-of-character for him to be this way. I believe you have the right to not be tickled. I believe any person has that right, to not be touched in a way that brings one suffering. And this is the solution, then: do not ask him, explain to him any longer: assert yourself.

Look him in the eye and tell him that you will not tolerate ONE more time.

Tell him that this is a deal breaker and he must never, ever tickle you again. I think I will bring it up later tonight and explain to him more about tickle-torture and tell him that I will not tolerate it anymore. You are very welcome. Offer to him a visit to a couple counselor, if that is what it takes, for him to understand that your assertion regarding tickling is valid.

Husband keeps tickling me

Following all this information and offering of further information from professionals, if he tickles you once again, either he cannot control his compulsion and that is a big tickle, or he intends to hurt you. There is a possibility, however slim and I boyfriend it is slim that he wants to hurt you and he feels that he can get away with it because it is tickling and not hitting or verbal abuse. Be open to that slim possibility, as well as the other slim possibility, that it is a compulsion on his part that he needs help with. And please post again with an update on the matter.

Great advice, as always, Anita! I will definitely post an update in a month or so and let you know how everything plays out. I really appreciate you taking the time to consider my issue and give me an informed and thoughtful response. Have a great day! You are welcome and thank you, Charlotte, for the kind words- I still remember kindnesses in your writings to me, and appreciate those very much.

Have a good day yourself! Thank you for putting this here. I feel very upset, powerless and in fact before even I read the science or history of Ticklish, I personally started to feel that tickling someone is a form of torture.

My boyfriend tickled me so often in my private area and on my breast. In one occasion it happened in a shopping centre where I was extremely upset that I nearly shout at him in a public place. I went to the bathroom and cried seriously as I though at that time I must have a problem with my body. I have told me in numerous occasions not to do it but he keeps doing it. This has led to a point where I avoid sitting very close to him and has now affect the level of affection I use to show him.

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Obviously this has affect the level of intimacy between us. He tickled me badly last night where I cried and felt like he is abusing me. I am feeling that it is something that he will never understand and I am about to break up with him because of this as I feel abused. He argued that I am being too sensitive and moody as his exes liked it.

Now that I have read this post I believe he has an intellectual issue not to understand how I feel and I cannot accept this behaviours. You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is deed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.

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Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. This topic has 8 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by Kady. Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 of 9 total. April 5, at am Charlie Participant. Hi everyone, I have a bit of a random issue. Am I overreacting about this?

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Does any one have any thoughts about how to approach this? Your thoughts, feelings? Hi Anita, Thank you for your input, Anita! Thanks, Anita! Dear Charlie: You are very welcome. August 8, at am Kady Participant. Dear Anita Thank you for putting this here. Thank you again for putting this together. Disclaimer This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Who Runs Tiny Buddha?

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